Friday, 19 February 2010

The Incredible Water Vortex Magnetizer

I had to start this blog with one of the all time classics of homeopathic and isopathic remedy science:  The literally incredible Water vortex magnetizer.
The critics and skeptics were quick to scoff:  “It shows a complete lack of understanding of even the most basic concepts of Physics” they cried;  “It is obvious to the most moon-faced schoolboy that you cannot reverse the polarity of hydrogen ions by pouring them from one bottle to another!” they bellowed; “What do you mean, it transfers its own natural vibrational imprint onto any water?  It is just lies!”, they implored into the cold dark night, possibly standing in a little puddle of their own urine.
But how wrong the critics were!  They were just not well-versed in the ground-breaking research of the very pre-eminent scientist Victor Schauberger, possibly because he eschewed publication in peer reviewed journals in order to maintain the purity of his science, and in turn the purity of his water.  How anyone could fail to understand how pouring tap water past a magnet six times ‘at a high rate of speed’ renders it energized and structured,  erased of any imprints of toxins or chemicals and  imploded, with a reduced surface tension and inhibited bacterial growth, is frankly beyond me.  And they are beyond help.
So convinced are the manufacturers of the Water Vortex Magnetizer that you will achieve amazing results, they have a ‘no returns or refunds’ policy on purchases, and at a miraculously cheap $36, why not buy one for everyone you know?  While you are at it, why not lobby your MP to have the Water Vortex Magnetizer available on the NHS?  Those of a technical bent may even wish to hijack the airwaves and broadcast their own home-made advert for the Water Vortex Magnetizer.   There is also talk of a nationwide water boycott until all plumbers are required by law to fit a Water Vortex Magnetizer in every tap in the country.  Don’t give up people, the re-patterning process has begun!
True art cuts deep... at the bleeding edge of science!


  1. surprised there are no comments..

  2. What has been written here is what Frankfurt and any Philosopher would call BS. Your Premises are weak and there are fallacy upon fallacy within the text. I'm not saying your wrong or right. But anyone searching for an answer of intelligent nature would simply find someone nitpicking at someones product without a logical argument.

  3. you're a dick-head idiot

  4. ...and you can't be helped!

  5. Yeah, you are the cynical quack. You need to admit that there are things that humanity don't actually fully understand yet. You need to do your own testing before you publish garbage like this. I'm a scientist and I actually bought one and have been blind testing it with many people...with consistently positive results from all those tested. Saying that the water is lighter, goes down more smoothly, has almost no taste and seems to be absorbed more readily. We're now doing tests by adding positive intention to the staff and I swear by it and take turns vortexing the water and refilling our supply.

    1. Try adding words and symbols to the side of the bottles to enhance with specific effects.

  6. Is this sarcasm?

  7. This is boycott of Nature.
    The truth is very different than the intention given above.

    Magnets are like an atomic wind.
    The North and the South are different energies.
    N in magnet therapy is used to stop and arrest.
    S is used to give life and heal.
    Water is a dipole, just like magnets.
    When water is magnetized it means that all the "water compass needles" will line up the same way.
    When water is moved from N to S and N to S, we have an alternating magentic current
    it spinns and therfore is loosing its surface tension.
    Think of it as a centrifuge.
    Now the impurity in the water is outside the surface tension of the water.
    Water has become softer and wetter if you like.
    This kind of water is good for you.
    It is good for your health, because you will hydrate better.

  8. The article was trash but the comments are golden!

    1. Glad to see the latest comment (30 June 2017) I thought it was too late for me to comment.
      Well, I made my own vortex magnetic water with just simple magnets and plastic bottles like you see on Youtube. I must say the water tastes so much better. I used to dislike drinking normal mineral or distilled water because they don't taste good at all. But with this vortex magnetized water I find myself love drinking water now. I am no longer dehydrated as a result. Thanks to all those who so kindly shared their knowledge with everybody. It's simply wonderful. The beauty of this whole thing is in its simplicity. Anyone can make it and benefit from it.